💬 The best they can with what they’ve got
In essence, it’s about giving the parent more information and resources than they arrived with, to deal with the situation better than an angry mama bear has defending a cub from danger. It’s about saying, ‘Your kid made a bad choice’, and separating their behaviour from their identity and the parent’s identity too. And then it’s about helping both of them get the strategies and resources they need to make the situation better.
It’s not easy. But when a mama bear sees that you want what’s best for their kid… and that’s really what you want even though the kid made a really bad choice… then the outcome becomes what you intended it to be. That same mama bear parent has, at times, even wanted to go harder on their kid than I do. If it comes to this point, they are still operating under the same pretence, they are doing the best they can with what they’ve got.
David, I enjoyed your response to Corrie’s prompt. Your differentiation of identity and behaviour had me think about the introduction of automation in education and the challenges associated with ‘messy problems’, as you say. Responding to the situation you included in a black and white manner may supposedly resolve the issue, but it would then have flow on effect associated with learning and community connections. This is why context is always so important I guess.
Two great posts @datruss – both which resonated very well. Your reminder also of “People do the best they can with the resources they have.” is a golden oldie, and one that I feel all school leaders and educators can use to reflect upon current circumstance/s.