Thank youfor your reply. You pose some interesting questions.
I think that first and foremost, bringing comments into my own site has changed the way that I appreciate this. I am therefore more likely to treat them now like the rest of my writing, littered with links, both to others and own writing. In more recent times I have taken to linking to my own bookmarks after I discovered a few posts with 5+ pingbacks. It just looked weird, especially as no-one else was pinging. (See Dave Cormier’s post on caring.)
In regards to replying to posts that clearly do not accept webmentions, I usually write the comment in a Markdown editor (my current favourite is Dillenger.) I then post the comment and paste a version in the corresponding post. I think that Chris Aldrich does something similar. Sometimes I will also post on Twitter or Mastadon that I have commented, but I must admit that I could be more diligent with this.
Does that clarify what you were asking?